Alex was not happy, but then if you'd asked her if she were happy at any time since the death of her husband, she would rarely have said she was.

She was also angry at John in that he had delved just a little bit too far by hacking Stephen Williams bank account. He had also disclosed far too much to George. If either of these misdemeanours were ever found out, then he would certainly go to jail. Privacy was just something you didn't invade any more. As Daisy had said, even the police had to get evidence before they could demand such personal information.

As it was a Friday, partly to hide her feelings and also to avoid a serious row with her colleague, she left early at around three. She knew from experience that the roads would be emptier before that night's rush to weekend cottages at Orford, Southwold, Aldeburgh and the other towns and villages on the Suffolk coast towards Lowestoft. But then she would be going against the traffic as she skirted Ipswich to the south over the immense concrete bridge that spanned the River Orwell before going westward along the dual-carriageway to Bury St. Edmunds.

Just over half an hour later, she was sitting alone in the kitchen of her detached house in a newly-built estate to the east of the old county town of west Suffolk. She had poured herself a Bushmills. It wasn't a small one either and she was just staring at the wall opposite.

At least, she thought to herself, Jake will be back soon with Barbara, his nanny. They had gone to Birmingham for the day to see Barbara's parents on her father's birthday. Jake always cheered her up, especially now he could chat away ceaselessly. She was pleased too, that he'd inherited his father's happy disposition, rather then the serious, guilt-ridden and miserable one, she had been saddled with by her earnest over-religious parents.

Perhaps, now Jake was nearly all she'd got in the way of relatives, with the exception of her mother-in-law, as her parents had both died since her husband. It had been a wretched couple of years.

She poured another drink.

***

She was startled as the phone rang. It was Barbara! She thought the worst as she saw the number of her mobile phone on the display.

'Hi! Barbara!' She tried to be positive. 'Is everything OK?'

'Jake and I are fine!' Barbara sounded fine too! And she could hear Jake chatting in the background. 'The exhaust has fallen off the car.'

'Where are you?'

'We're at my parents! It happened soon after I left, so I drove back. I thought it best.'

Alex was relieved. But then in the two years since she'd employed Barbara, she'd never had the least occassion to ever be worried about her. 'At least you're not stuck in some desolate service area on the motorway!'

'No Mum's playing with Jake and Dad's phoning round to see if he can find a new one. He's not had much luck yet!'

'Let me know how you get on!'

***

She realised that since Jake's birth, she had never spent a night without him. She thought that perhaps, she ought to go and get them. It would only take a couple of hours to get there and she had been there a couple of times to collect and deliver Barbara. But she couldn't as now she would be way over the limit.

The phone rang again and the display and the tell-tale 0121 said it was a Birmingham number. It was Barbara's father. 'I'm sorry Alex, but I can't get an exhaust until tomorrow.'

'Oh!' Alex was almost in tears as the inevitability of not seeing Jake sunk in. 'Will you be able to get one then?'

'Yes!' He sounded confident, which helped. 'The exhaust centre round the corner are running one over from their branch at Wolverhampton. I'm awfully sorry, but Jake will be fine here for the night. He can sleep in Barbara's old cot!'

'Thank you!'

'It's no problem. It'll be nice having a baby in the house after all those years!'

***

'Alright for some!' She was muttering under her breath. 'But what about me!' She reached for the bottle again, but except for a few drops it was empty. 'Shit!' She stood up and opened the cupboard where the drink was kept. There was no second bottle. 'Shit! Perhaps, you have to be really serious to be a drunk!' At least she smiled.

She realised then that Barbara would have bought the groceries. She always got everything together for the week-end and as she was now stuck in Birmingham, so was Alex's supper. And as she was now way over the limit she couldn't drive to a shop herself.

But then what would she have done in the past two and a half years without Barbara. She had her mother-in-law to thank in that she had found her and had then persuaded Alex to accept a full time nanny. Barbara was not any ordinary nanny, but one of a long line of properly trained ladies of good breeding from a long established academy, who had looked after the children of the Empire since Queen Victoria had first sat in a pram. Sometimes, Alex thought that some of her methods hadn't changed much either!

Jake adored her, and she looked after him from the time she got him up in the morning perhaps an hour after Alex had left for work, until she returned at about six. Alex didn't want for much either, as she came home to a clean house and a hot meal in the oven.

She sometimes thought, that she should learn to do more herself. But then she had no pretensions to be a domestic goddess! She just wanted to be a good mother! And a reasonably successful lawyer!

***

About five after looking at the empty glass for perhaps twenty minutes, she decided she ought to do something. Being miserable wasn't going to get her anywhere! So although it was sunny and warm for late April, she grabbed an anorac and put it over her trouser suit. She would have to walk the two kilometres or so to the supermarket on the by-pass. Perhaps, it would do her a small amount of good.

She cheered with the walk and within twenty-five minutes of brisk downhill walking she was inside the store. She hadn't been inside for several months and she couldn't remember where everything was, even though she only wanted a few basics for her supper. She just bought milk, eggs and a ready made chicken meal for supper. The Spanish strawberries looked good, so she took a punnet. Her hand touched a bottle of whiskey, but she decided that it would be too heavy to carry back up the hill. So she took six cans of Diet Coke instead!

As she left the store and made for the footpath that led under the by-pass towards her walk home, a taxi approached and dropped a shopper. She almost raised her hand to hail it and take the easy way, but remembered her mother's forceful advice about frugality and decided that she had better walk up the hill!

***

When she returned, Alex decided that a deep hot and fragrant bath might help to revive her fully. As she lay there for perhaps twenty minutes, she meandered through the last couple of years, that had transformed her from one half of a happy couple to a single mother caring for a loving child. Albeit, she wasn't hard up and she had every kind of help from Barbara, but really was it time to get herself into another relationship? Perhaps! But then she didn't have to commit, but someone to take her for a meal, a film or to a play at the Theatre Royal, would surely improve her life!

She also decided to be decadent and not get dressed. Her mother would not have approved. It was about time too that she got rid of those puritan attitudes that had shaped her life. To emphasise her rejection of those attitudes, she stood naked in front of the mirror and looked at her body. It might not be to a model standard, but it was certainly better than most. She smiled as she put on a dressing-gown.

By eight-thirty with the meal inside her she was feeling even better.

So she just sat on the sofa in her dressing gown in front of the television and let the latest programs about gardening, do-it-yourself and moving house wash through in front of her eyes. She wondered if people actually looked at this sort of rubbish every night! But then she had Jake to amuse her!

Jake had cheered her up too, when just before he went to bed, Barbara had phoned and she'd cajoled him to wish his mother a good night. She told him to behave himself and hoped they would be back early in the morning. But she realised that by the time the car was fixed, it would be unlikely they would be home before noon.

***

Her thoughts turned to the talks earlier in the day with Daisy and John.

Perhaps John has been right to broaden the enquiry! Did he compromise her section by telling George the truth? How did a lecturer from humble beginnings come to have several millions in his bank account? Did he have a relationship with a poor Russian student, who might have been earning money by offering sex? Why are neither of them on any cameras? Why had Daisy seemed to back off?

She switched off the television so that she could think better.

She realised she had been stupid. Or at least she hadn't analysed the facts correctly. It didn't take a lot of thought, but she knew her mother-in-law, Susan Derby, was a judge. By all accounts a very good one. A very well-connected one! And also a friend of Daisy May! She must talk to her about her problems. After all, she had a very good relatonship with her, as she did happen to be the grandmother of her son! That was a very strong hold!

She reached for the phone and dialled Susan!

'Susan' She never called her mother-in-law anything else. 'It's not too late is it?'

'Oh! Hello! Of course it isn't!' It never ever was! 'How are you and Jake!'

'Fine! Thanks!' She paused before continuing. 'Are you busy tomorrow? I've something I want to discuss with you! Can I come over tomorrow morning?

'Of course!' Susan never said anything but yes, when asked such a question! 'Come around eleven! Then we could have a swim and follow it with lunch!'

Copyright 2004 by Ewart Higgins